The Precious You
by AsakuraHannah
Summary: Being haunted by the past memories of his late master, Okita Souji, Kashuu was desperately trying to forget the fact that he was a rusty sword. Yasusada, who bore a striking resemblance to Okita made him feel repulsed by the reminder of his own weakness and background. Unbeknownst to Yasusada, some bruises and wound had started appearing on Kashuu's beautiful body. YasuKiyo
1. Him

**_The Precious You  
_**

 ** _Genre:_** Romance – Angst – Hurt – Comfort – Drama – Selfharm

 **Rating** : R15

 **Pairing:** (mainly) Yamatonokami Yasusada x Kashuu Kiyomitsu

 **Side pairing:** Izumi no Kami Kanesada x Horikawa Kunihiro

 **Summary:** Being haunted by the past memories of his late master, Okita Souji, Kashuu was desperately trying to forget the fact that he was a rusty sword. His twin, Yasusada, who bore a striking resemblance to Okita made him feel repulsed because he was constantly reminded of his own weakness and background. Unbeknownst to Yasusada, some bruises and wound had started appearing little by little on Kashuu's beautiful body.

 **Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction made for personal satisfaction. Touken Ranbu belongs to DMM and Nitroplus. No connection is implied or should be in inferred.

 ** _A/N:_** Okay first of all, I would like to send my thanks to my aarin pet, _preciiousmochi_ who helped me to beta-read my writing. I'm sorry that even though you are busy, you still want to help me out. This is made for my favorite pairing – Yamato no Kami Yasusada x Kashuu Kiyomitsu. I know, I know, they are just too adorable. There will be slight Kanesada x Horikawa inside.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you that **I'm in love with Odachi Yasusada** and I love his long hair when he is an Odachi. So in the _first part of this story_ , his hair is that long; in his **uchigatana** form, okay? Okita in this story, I personally like **Okita Souji from Peace Maker** , but its up to you to imagine your own Okita image xD

 **I have several arts for this novel, so if you wanna check then you can go to my profile or check AO3 or went straight to my DA (asakurahannahda), the links are in my profile page.**

All feedback and constructive criticisms are welcomed to improve my writing.

Cheers!

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Him**

"I am Yamatonokami Yasusada – one of Okita Souji's favorite swords. I'd say that even though I'm difficult to handle, I'm quite capable. It's been a while, Kiyomitsu." Yasusada smiled, extending his hand towards Kashuu.

Kashuu didn't say anything; he stayed rooted to the spot. The guy had his long hair tied up neatly into a ponytail. The end of his hair almost reached down his waist. A boyish smile was plastered on his face as he waited for Kashuu, his other half, to accept his handshake.

"Kiyomitsu, Here is your other half. I know you two are Okita's swords. I hope you guys get along well, just like in the past." The Master patted Kashuu's back before he left them alone to talk.

 _'_ _Get along well… as if! That long hair… He… he is still imitating Okita…'_ Kashuu gritted his teeth and looked away from the questioning look on Yasusada's face. "Nice to meet you again…"

Yasusada grinned widely.

"Hi again, Kiyomitsu…" before Kashuu could avoid it, he was pulled into Yasusada's tight embrace. Kashuu sucked in his breath for a moment. He grimaced at the scent of the guy that invaded his nostrils – the scent of a rusty sword that just gained a soul. He didn't push him away, nor return Yasusada's hug.

* * *

Kashuu stared at his surroundings. He never thought that he'd be back in this era. His eyes gleamed at the sight of several glistening swords under the moonlight. Was he somewhat alive again? His eyes found a person who looked similar to Yasusada, only that his hair was shorter. Just like back in the time when Okita Souji, his previous master, had teamed up along with him.

"Yasu... sada?" he whispered to himself, not believing what he was seeing. The figure was fighting against an army of men. His eyes caught another familiar figure and widened in recognition. It was Okita Souji who was swinging his sword with great effort. He could see that his late master was gasping for breath while dodging an attack. Yasusada was defending him from the mob.

Kashuu averted his eyes when Okita clashed one of his beloved swords with the big man. The sword cracked and broke cleanly into two. There he saw himself lying on the floor, broken and shattered. Kashuu could see Yasusada's cheeks were stained wet by his own tears. He could see the rage of emotions on his face every time he swung his sword at the enemy. Suddenly he realized where he currently was.

Ikedaya Inn.

Kashuu raised his trembling hands, trying to call out to the two of them. But he couldn't hear his own voice.

"Aruji! Yasusada! Stop it... or both of you will..." But Kashuu's voice couldn't reach them. He raised his own sword and charged into the battlefield to help his team. But every time he attacked his opponent, his sword went through the enemy. No matter how hard he tried to swing his sword, his attacks wouldn't connect. It was as if he was invisible. Desperate tears streamed down his cheeks. Yasusada who had been beside him was attacked on his stomach. Kashuu's eyes widened in alarm.

"Yasusadaaaa!"

"Kiyo!" Yasusada slapped Kashuu awake. He was staring at him in worry as Kashuu's tears ran down his cheek. He was grunting and moaning while trying to get away from his grasp. Yasusada slapped him harder, making him gasp in surprise. He snapped his eyes open, blinking at Yasusada who had pinned him down on his futon.

"Yasu... sada...?" he blinked at the darkness, his eyes still trying to adjust with the very limited amount of illumination inside the room. He slowly brought his hand to rub his throbbing red cheek. His mind drifted back to the event of his dream before he promptly tried to sit up. "Aruji... we need to save-"

"It's a dream!" Yasusada shook him awake exasperatedly. Kashuu frowned for a moment before it dawned on him that the vision he saw was just a dream.

"Are you awake now?" Yasusada whispered to him.

Kashuu silently nodded in reply.

Yasusada pulled him into a hug. The guy below him grunted at his weight on him.

"Yasusada, you are heavy..."

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry that you have to see that again. I'm sorry that you have to dream something about him again. I'm sorry... I couldn't protect you..."

Kashuu stared at the ceiling, sighing softly. He felt empty. On top of him, Yasusada was trembling. He could feel his fear of losing his other half. Kashuu brought his hand up to pat on his back, stroking his hair affectionately.

"It was a dream, you said so yourself too…" Kashuu murmured. His twin relaxed as he continued to pat on his back reassuringly.

It didn't take a few minutes for Yasusada to be lulled to sleep from the comfort he was receiving. Kashuu pushed him off carefully, trying not to wake him up. His expression contorted in disgust at Yasusada's sleeping face. He was too similar to his late master. He gripped the blanket and pulled it up to his head, hiding himself from any prying eyes while he silently cried underneath it.

Yasusada cracked his eyes open; not doing anything other than listening to the muffled sobbing sound his twin was making beside him. He ignored the urge to pull Kiyomitsu into his embrace.

* * *

Morning came. Yasusada was awakened by the sound of the door closing. He looked to his side from the futon, staring at Kashuu who was fresh from bath. He was sitting in front of the mirror, reaching out for the concealer to start his usual morning ritual. His twin watched him from his futon, rolling to his side and rubbed his sleepy eyes.

"Are you awake?" Kashuu asked, looking closely at the red spot on his cheek. Yasusada noticed the small cut and quickly sat up. He approached Kashuu to pull his hand away from his face before yanking his face upwards for closer examination.

"Wha-" Kashuu hissed in surprise at his twin who was currently examining his cheek intensely.

"What's with the cut?" he demanded.

"It's just a simple cut. What's wrong with it?!"

"You, the one who spend so much effort taking care of your beauty, let your face wounded? Like hell I'm going to believe that."

Kashuu made a face and batted his hand away from his chin. "Quit it, it's nothing big. I can use the concealer to hide it!"

"That's not the point!"

"It's none of your damn business!" Kashuu spat at his twin.

A knock from outside the room interrupted their heated exchange.

"Y-Yes?" Kashuu called out.

"Umm… I just wanted to tell you that breakfast will be ready soon. Did something happen? I heard you guys arguing." Horikawa's voice could be heard from the other side of the door.

"Everything is alright. We'll come out as soon as we are ready. Thank you." Yasusada replied.

"Okay then." As soon as Horikawa's steps faded away from the door, they both sighed. Their eyes met and Kashuu grumbled. He looked back to the mirror and started applying the concealer on his face.

"I was just worried, you don't need to be so worked up over it…" Yasusada shook his head. He walked to the closet and took out his usual daily clothes.

Kashuu watched him leave the room. He looked at his reflection in the mirror again and frowned. He raised his eyebrow. The concealer was too thin to cover his wound. He needed more.

* * *

The sun was shining brightly by the time the Master assigned them to their chores. One team was sent to an expedition in the middle of the hot summer. The other was ordered to tidy up the house and prepare for lunch while waiting for the expedition team to come back.

Kashuu stared off into space while leaning against the wall. Kanesada, who was in the middle of brushing the horses noticed it and elbowed Horikawa. Horikawa looked at back at the man who distracted him from his work of sweeping the ground questioningly.

"What's wrong with him? He has been spacing out a lot lately." Kanesada muttered.

"I wonder if it has something to do with the current investigation on Ikedaya. But... Aruji will be mad if he continues behaving like that." Horikawa said before stepping forward to stop whatever that was going through Kashuu's mind.

"Kashuu-san, uhh… if you don't start working, Aruji will be mad." The guy quickly resumed his work after apologizing. Horikawa smiled and continued sweeping the ground.

"What if…" Kashuu suddenly spoke up in the middle of his duty. Horikawa raised his head, listening. Kanesada who was bathing the horse perked up his ears, trying to get something out. His movement slowed down, causing Yasusada to reprimand him.

"Shush, don't you want to get something out of that guy?" Yasusada shook his head.

"He won't talk to me… I don't even know why…"

"That's why Horikawa is asking him. Maybe he can get something out of him since Kashuu doesn't seem to want to open up to you," the taller of the two grinned widely.

"Nothing happened actually… I'm just curious about Aruji…" Kashuu sighed as he leaned on his broom.

Kanesada and Yasusada blinked at each other and peeked from the other side of the fence.

"What about Aruji?" Horikawa asked, nonchalantly piling the leaf to the side of the trash can with his broom. Kashuu stared at him for a moment.

"What is he planning? I mean… Why did he give us soul? I knew he got power within him, but what are his reasons, I wonder…"

Horikawa was silent for a moment, thinking. He looked down to the leaf beneath the broom and shook his head.

"He got his reasons, you know. He needs us to help him with the time travelers who are trying to change history of the world. Aside from that, don't you find it useful to be a human for once? We are just… sword after all….. I think it's a blessing for us." Horikawa smiled. Kashuu sighed at his answer.

"Because of him I recalled something I shouldn't have and feel… broken and thrown away just like that…" he stared at his hand which was swollen.

Yasusada noticed the wound and ran up to him.

"Oi! Baka!" Kanesada exclaimed.

"Kiyomitsu, what's with the wound?"

Kashuu quickly retracted his hand, hissing at Yasusada like a snake. The guy was good enough to sneak up on him like a stalker.

"It's nothing and it's not your problem! Quit it, you are being annoying lately!" Kashuu threw his broom to the ground angrily.

"I'm not going to stand back watching you unrepaired! That wound wasn't even there this morning!" Yasusada forcefully pried Kashuu's hand open, trying to assess the wound.

"Umm… you two… I don't think being rowdy is a wise thing to do right now…" Horikawa tried to calm them.

"But he is obviously hiding something!" Yasusada accused while pulling Kashuu, who was trying to free his hand from Yasusada's grasp.

"This is not your problem! What is wrong with you?!" Before Yasusada could retort, a hand grabbed the back of their heads and slammed their foreheads together. Kanesada managed to break the tension just like that. The way his late master stopped some arguments was still fresh in his mind. Being able to practically do it made his heart feel so satisfied.

"Calm down, both of you! Cool you head before you speak!" he glared down at the two of them who were now clutching on their foreheads and wincing in pain.

"Yasusada, I don't think forcing him to talk is a good way of doing things," Kanesada glanced at Yasusada who was grumbling.

"What is happening in here?" the demanding voice of their master could be heard from behind. The toudans gulped at the sight of their master who was standing not too far from them.

"If you don't do the chores properly, you won't make it by lunch time. You know how the battle for food is." Their Aruji chuckled and left them with a wave. The four of them could only sigh in relief at the retreating figure of their master.

"Now, let's finish our job before lunch time, or else we're going to be late." Horikawa announced with renewed vigor and picked up Kashuu's broom from the ground.

"Right…" Kashuu muttered.

The four of them quickly went back their job and not even a word was uttered.

* * *

Kashuu stared at his hand; of course the wound wouldn't just disappear so easily. He grabbed some cotton and a bottle of rubbing alcohol to disinfect his wound. He didn't want the master to know about this in fear of losing his love. After all, master was the person who had given him life; the person who had made him breathe the fresh air. He was different from his late master. Kashuu smiled a little at the image of him worrying over small things like a minor wound when they were actually sent out to the battlefields. To where they would sometimes end up being wounded or even broken if the enemies were too strong.

Kashuu's fingers curled into a fist, clenching tightly. He bit his lips and started sobbing silently. He was just inflicting another wound on himself. His nails were stained red by the blood on the palm of his hand. Kashuu shut his eyes tightly as the blood started dripping down.

"Why… why do you care so much?" Kashuu whispered weakly. He felt numb by the new wound he just created.

Unbeknownst to him, a pair of eyes was staring at him disbelievingly from the entrance door, which was slightly ajar.

* * *

"What?! Kiyomitsu is hurting himself?!" Kanesada exclaimed.

"I was on my way here when I heard someone crying. Then I realized that I was passing by Kashuu's room. He was crying alone while hurting himself." Kunihiro explained while setting a tray of tea on the table.

"I see… If that's the reason, then Yasusada's concern for him this afternoon was reasonable. They are like twins, so I'm not surprised if Yasusada already had a hunch about it."

"You mean Yasusada didn't know about it yet? Don't you think we should say something to him?" Kunihiro's tone was full of concern. He took a seat behind Kanesada before pulling Kanesada's ribbon off his hair and started combing his long, thick hair.

Kanesada sighed and leaned back against him. "I don't think we should do it. I mean, you saw him crying alone, right? That means he probably didn't want anyone to know about it. I'm pretty sure he didn't even tell Yasusada."

"But what if he break down? Or what if Aruji finds out that he's been purposely hurting himself?"

"If that's the case then Aruji will take the matter into his own hands. Don't you believe in him?"

Kunihiro stopped his combing. "I believe in him," he answered with a serious look in his eyes. Kanesada turned around. He ruffled Kunihiro's hair with a smile and chuckled at the guy's immediate protests.

"It will be alright," he assured and leaned down to peck him on his cheek. Such simple gesture was enough to adorn Kunihiro's cheek with a pink hue. Kanesada poked his flaming cheek affectionately.

"Yeah…" Kunihiro smiled back at him before Kanesada leaned down again to claim his lips.

* * *

Kashuu stared at the blood on his hand blankly. A deep voice echoed in his mind.

 _'Destroy… destroy more… Even if your sword breaks, you mustn't stop.'_

 ** _TBC_**


	2. Whisper

_**Chapter 2: Whisper**_

Yasusada swiftly swung his sword, slicing the falling leaf in the air. He took a deep breath and sheathed his sword. Someone clapped his hand, making him turn around.

"Kunihiro…"

"I see you are so intensely focused."

"Sort of, yeah… I guess it clears my mind a little" Yasusada said and combed his hair with his fingers. Horikawa smiled and walked to him.

"The other team has returned from the expedition, so I'm here to tell you that we are going to have lunch soon. I hope didn't interrupt you."

"Oh, no, it's alright. I was just… wondering what is happening to Kashuu… That's all."

Kunihiro looked at him worriedly. "Did he say anything to you?"

Yasusada sighed and shook his head. He strolled back to the house with him, while looking around the garden. "He didn't even tell me a thing…" Yasusada muttered as his eyes followed a flying butterfly until it landed on a flower nearby. He smiled at the scenery. "If it's Okita, he would have said that it's so peaceful…"

Kunihiro smiled back at him. "Yes, he would…" he agreed as he watched the butterfly flew away again.

"I know he is crying every night… It's getting worse since we reached Kyoto… The memory of the Ikedaya Raid…" Yasusada spoke up, looking at Kunihiro. "I can't do anything about him. I can only listen to him cry while pretending to be asleep. I'm such a bad partner…" Yasusada said, staring at his own sword. "What's the use of this sword if I can't help him? Sometimes I felt like my heart is being ripped apart when I hear him crying."

"I'm sure he will eventually tell you if you give him some time. Maybe he just doesn't know how to open up to you…" Horikawa tried his best to assure him. Yasusada could only sigh.

"I wish he can just do it right now…"

"You know it's quite a sensitive topic if it's about Ikedaya…"

"I know…" Yasusada walked inside the house without saying another word.

"Even if we are part of the raid… We could only watch our master fight without being able to do anything… we are just swords after all. Once we break…" Horikawa looked down sadly, his hands clenched into a fist.

Yasusada didn't say a word and patted on his shoulder. "Come on, you told me it's time for lunch, right?"

Horikawa nodded and gave him a small smile. He allowed Yasusada to drag him inside the living room. The other toudans were already complaining about their delayed lunch.

* * *

Kashuu picked up his sword and hissed at the sharp pain in the palm of his hand. The wound… He didn't let the master know about it. Not even once did he think about getting the small wound tended to. Such minor damage will not affect him. They are going to do some inspection on the map today. He needed to get ready as soon as possible. Kashuu walked towards the gate to join the others who were still waiting for the final order. He looked around and finally found who Yasusada was standing under the shade of a tree, checking on his sword.

"Yasusada…" he called out to the man who raised his head in response. For a moment there he really looked like Okita; the flowing long hair, and the way his eyes were... they had the same exact coldness Okita had when he was raiding. Kashuu winced at Yasusada's smile.

"Shall we go? The others are almost ready," he wrapped the white band around his head.

"Alright, let's go…" Kashuu said, looking away when Yasusada stood up straight. They organized their troops as soon as their master joined in. The team started their journey to the bridge over Ikedaya.

Battles were inevitable during their way to the Inn. They were surrounded by a lot of mobsters that were equipped with Yari. The sun was already setting and they had to reach the Inn by night time if possible.

Kashuu was gasping for breath as he lunged forward. The mobsters were mightier than ever. He had to swing his sword and spin his body to create an impact that was heavy enough to deal damage to his opponents. As expected, his movement was enough to break the sword and kill the enemy. He briefly examined his surroundings and discovered that most of his teammates had sustained severe injuries. The sight before him distracted him from an incoming attack from the front. The next thing he knew, he was knocked out.

The raid was a failure for them this time and it was Kashuu's fault… Kashuu blamed himself as he stared at his own broken body. Not even one of them was willing to repair him; not even one of them offered Okita the option to repair him. He was forever damaged. He couldn't be repaired. The soul of the sword was crying as he watched Okita silently left the blacksmith.

"No… please don't go… Please… I can still fight alongside with you…" Kashuu reached out for his master in hopes that he would search for another blacksmith. But it was futile. His master would never hear him. Kashuu tried chasing after Okita, the man who was able to handle him; the man who had always treasured him; the man who had always called him beautiful.

But he couldn't run as fast as he could because he was severely wounded. He felt every part of his own body screaming in pain as he ran after his beloved master.

"Okita-san! Please…"

The sky was gradually painted orange by the sunset as he kept running. It was the color which Kashuu hated the most. He realized that he had followed his master to the place he knew so well by the time he stood still beside a riverbank. Kashuu slumped down to the grass below his feet exhaustedly, grabbing onto Okita's hakama.

"Okita-san!" he desperately wished that he could hear his voice.

"Kiyomitsu… You are… I'm sorry…" his late master whispered with his head lowered. His words were almost inaudible. Kashuu couldn't make out the expression on his face either because it was well hidden beneath his bangs. He crouched down to thrust the damaged sword and its broken tip into the ground. The steel of the sword shimmered under the setting sun.

Kashuu's eyes widened as he saw himself being abandoned. The sight of himself being disposed was forever imprinted in his mind. Kashuu shook his head in denial. He started sobbing miserably when Okita turned around.

"Don't leave me…" Kashuu held onto the edge of his master's master hakama with his bloodied palm and begged weakly. The blood on his hand soaked into Okita's hakama. But his master walked away without another word. Kashuu's sobs grew louder, tears running freely as he wailed.

His job was finished since that day. He could never be beautiful anymore. The damage was irreversible. No one was willing to repair him. No one desired the broken him. He couldn't even bear to imagine what Okita thought of him now, but he was sure that he would tell him that he was hideous.

No one wanted him anymore… Even his master thought he was no longer worthy to be kept at his home. He had left him near his hometown, where he belonged. Beside the riverbank… Deep down his heart he wished that he could hear the familiar voice of his master calling out his name once again, coming back to pick him up. While he was drowning in his own agony, a faint sound reached his ears. His vision blurred away as the voice got closer and closer.

"Kashuu–"

"Kiyomitsu!"

He recognized that voice. That was the voice of his partner; the one that resembled Okita. He snapped open his eyes and saw Yasusada looking down at him. His blue eyes were filled with worry. Kashuu looked around him in slight confusion.

"This is…"

"The refinement room," Yasusada completed his sentence, and took both of Kashuu's hands into his own preciously. Kashuu was frowning at the gesture before he was pulled into a tight hug by Yasusada.

"Thank God you are alright. I was so worried that it might happen again. We are not in the inn yet, but still…" the taller man gently caressed Kashuu's hair, while rocking him back and forth as if he was a baby.

Kashuu hissed at him and pushed the man away. "Stop it…" he protested.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" his partner pulled away, giving him some space to breathe.

"Did you guys come back because…"

"You were heavily wounded, the rest were injured too so… we had to retreat. Wouldn't want to lose you as well… I panicked so much and I had to carry you in my arms while attacking the mobster."

Kashuu looked at him in surprise.

"You…"

"I didn't want the same thing to repeat again. Not this time…"

Kashuu lowered his gaze, his heart clenched painfully.

 _'Please don't pretend that you care… when you are… more precious to Okita…'_

"Thank you…" he whispered back and faked a smile. Yasusada returned his smile and wrapped his arms around him. Kashuu went rigid as soon as he felt a kiss on his forehead.

"Please… don't break again… Kiyomitsu… Please…"

Kashuu couldn't react. His mind went blank for a moment while Yasusada continued caressing him. "Can you… leave me alone?" he finally managed in a cold voice.

"Sure… Sure… You have to rest, so please, use your free time to rest as much as you can…" his partner rubbed his head before he let go of him. For a moment there, Yasusada looked like he still had something to say. However, Kashuu averted his gaze, subtly signaling to him that the conversation was over and he would like to be left alone. Yasusada's smile fell as he turned around and made his way to the door. He took one last glance at the man in bed. Kashuu was looking out of the window. Yasusada slid open the door and left the room.

 _'It's better if you get out of my sight for a while… You look too much like that man… even your long hair resembles him so much that it annoyed the hell out of me…'_

Kashuu gripped the blanket around him, feeling irritated at the memory that surfaced when he blacked out.

* * *

Yasusada stood outside before the closed door. His eyes were staring at the paper door as if he could see through the translucent paper. He pressed his forehead against the door and sighed lightly.

 _'Why won't you let me come near you…?'_ his fingers absentmindedly traced the wooden door.

 ** _TBC_**


	3. Lullaby

**Chapter 3 : Lullaby**

Kashuu smiled when he saw children running past the gate of Citadel. They were laughing and playing around with their group, obviously enjoying themselves in the middle of the hot summer. A spray of cold water could make them squeal in delight. Sometimes, just seeing those cheerful children was enough for a smile to grace his lips. Kashuu retrieved a water can and started watering the bushes. Doing his chores while listening to the children's laughter was actually not bad at all.

Yasusada, who was tending the flowers, noticed his smiling face from his crouching spot. Never had he ever seen him smile like that before. How he wished he could capture every moment of his smile. All he had ever seen was just the tears that he shed almost every night. He frowned and looked down at the flowers that he was tending before him. Maybe these flowers had often seen his smile? Distracted by his jealousy, he accidentally cut the stem of the most beautifully bloomed innocent flower, and pouted when he heard Kashuu yelling from his side.

"Yasusada! Treat the flowers with care will you?! I spent a lot of time tending to them!"

"Sorry…" Yasusada muttered an apology and stood up straight.

"Where are you going?" Kashuu asked.

"Just… training? I mean, I'm almost done with the chores here anyway." Yasusada shrugged and left the angry Kashuu. He let out a sigh and patted on his own chest. Why did he love making Kashuu angry so much? Little did he realize that he actually preferred to hear Kashuu's angry tone over his crying. At least after that bridge incident, Kashuu was slowly regaining his health back, though that didn't stop his tears during night time. It was either he had a bad dream or was simply crying his eyes out. There were times when he really wanted to just cuddle and comfort him but… Horikawa kept telling him to wait. Just how long should he wait…?

"Maybe you should change room?" Kanesada asked in an obvious bored tone. Yasusada grunted at him.

"I wish you could have given me another better option."

"Does he still… you know, have random mysterious wounds?" Horikawa asked carefully.

Yasusada shook his head. "I haven't seen it again… Or maybe he's being more secretive now because of how I reacted last time."

"In that case then maybe you should pay a closer attention to him. I don't think changing room is a good suggestion."

"But Kunihiro, if his crying is keeping Yasusada from sleeping well it would be bad for him during the day. He needs to be well rested if he has a faraway expedition or if he has to fight at his full strength…"

"But Kane-san… what if Kashuu—" and the two kept debating back and forth that Yasusada had already given up on seeking for a proper answer.

Nagasone Kotetsu was deep in thought right after he heard the problem.

"I think you should talk to him, but don't forget to treasure and respect his feelings at the same time. If you tried making him talk and he still insists on being secretive then don't force him," he advised. "You should gain his trust first. I think by the time he let you see him cry, you will know what to do to stop his tears," the big brother patted on his shoulder.

"You think so…?" Yasusada asked meekly, looking down to the ground.

"Don't worry, he is your partner. I'm sure he will open up to you if you have faith in my words."

Yasusada gave him a slow nod.

The sun was setting when he heard the children walking past the gate. Some of them were crying while the others were cheerfully singing a soothing lullaby of some sort. He smiled to the short song and continued sweeping the ground until the bell rang, signaling that it was already dinner time.

* * *

Soft sniffles could be heard in the dark room. Yasusada stirred slightly from his sleep. He blinked and rolled over to his side, staring at Kiyomitsu's back. It was slowly becoming a melody to him every night; a sad melody to his ears. He softly sighed before opening his mouth to sing the song he heard from the children that were playing near the gate of Citadel. He assumed that their parents were always singing the same song whenever they had to comfort them.

"Never cry, never lose hope.

It will be alright once you start smiling.

Your smile brings the light to everyone.

Your laugh is the most beautiful music.

You are precious."

Yasusada could see Kashuu's back tensed up. He couldn't let this keep going on every night. The guy seriously needed some comfort. Yasusada slid off his blanket and crawled towards his partner.

"Kiyo…"

"Don't look at me…"

"I heard you every night. I don't want you to keep crying like this. Why can't you share your problem with me, Kiyo…?"

"Yasusada, give it a rest, will you? What's the use of me telling you anyway?"

"It might help a little, Kiyo." He gently touched Kashuu's back, trying to get his partner to look at him in the eyes.

"Just go back to sleep," Kashuu said flatly, pulling the blanket over his head. Yasusada looked at him sadly and frowned. But still, he lay beside him and wrapped his arm around the blanket.

"Kiyomitsu… Please cheer up, I love your smile. Why do you never show your smile to me? All I ever see is your tears and sorrow…" The person beneath the blanket started sobbing uncontrollably. He rolled away from Yasusada and glared at him from beneath the blanket. Yasusada's eyes widened in surprise when he saw Kashuu's face – his eyes were puffy from all the crying. His cheeks were red with embarrassment; stained wet and warm. His heart thumped slightly the moment their eyes met. Yasusada felt his cheeks getting hotter by the second.

"Kiyomitsu…" he whispered as he lightly touched his cheek.

Kashuu stared back at him, feeling Yasusada's thumb brushing the tears away from the corner of his eyes and frowned when he pressed their foreheads together. The dim moonlight helped him to see his partner in the darkness. Kashuu could see his own reflection in his partner's orbs. He could feel Yasusada's eyelashes brushing against his own cheekbone softly when he kissed him on his cheek.

"Don't cry… you are much more beautiful when you smile…" Yasusada said, trailing kisses down his jaw. Kashuu didn't say anything as he trembled from the kisses. The guy slowly inched towards his lips but paused for a moment as if wondering if Kashuu would push him away before he softly pressed his lips against him. Kashuu sucked in his breath at the contact. Yasusada caressed his hair and pushed him down on the futon, making the brunette moan softly when he deepened the kiss. Their kiss became more passionate the moment Kashuu gripped Yasusada's kimono sleeve. Yasusada forcefully delved his tongue into Kashuu's hot cavern while nudging his legs apart. The guy beneath him gasped at the feeling of his tongue clashing with his partner's.

"Unnggh…" Kashuu groaned when Yasusada sucked on his tongue, saliva trailed down from the corner of his mouth. Kashuu slightly opened his eyes, pulling on his untied long hair.

"Kiyomitsu…" Yasusada sighed, trailing his kisses down his jaw, and then his neck before biting him softly on his left shoulder.

Kashuu trembled with pleasure beneath him, writhing and hissing at the bite. He ran his fingers through Yasusada's locks, moaning softly as Yasusada continued marking him on his collar bone.

"Aah… Okita-san…"

Yasusada stopped, eyes widened in shock. Kashuu instantly covered his mouth as soon as the name slipped through his lips.

"You…"

As soon as their eyes met with each other, Kashuu looked away, blushing furiously.

"Forget it, Yasusada…"

"Kiyo… Is that the reason why you're avoiding me? Is that the reason you cried every night? I thought… I thought you were mad at him for tossing you aside… So you hated me for staying with him…?"

The brunette shot him a glare.

"Obviously I'm mad at him for tossing me aside! I'm mad at the person who once treasured me the most… and I hate you… for constantly reminding me of him with your resemblance to him…" Kashuu started to sob as he sat up.

Yasusada looked down sadly.

"Get out of my sight…"

The man before him was flabbergasted at the command.

"What?"

"Get away from me! I don't want to see you right now… Choose your own room… Please just… go away…"

"Kiyo..."

"Just… go…"

Yasusada opened his mouth, but he didn't object him because Kashuu sent him a death glare.

"Fine…" He stood up and left him alone in the room.

Kashuu stared after the closed door in front of him. His room felt much colder than before. He pulled the blankets around him and started to cry all alone.

' _Why do I have to love someone who threw me away…?'_ Drowning in his own sadness made him realized that maybe he was better left off not having a soul at all. Being human is much more painful than being a sword. He would be better off as a lump of steel rather than a living human, which could easily be broken by just a single emotion called 'love'.


	4. Comfort

**Chapter 4 : Comfort**

Horikawa was pacing around the hallway, ready in his training suit and humming softly. He enjoyed every morning of his training while breathing in the fresh air. He tried waking Kanesada up before but gave up long ago because the man was hardly a morning person. As soon as he turned to the right corner of the hallway, he spotted Yasusada sitting in front of his room, resting his back against the wall. The man was sleeping soundly while hugging his sword.

"Huh? Why did he… did they get in a fight?" Horikawa looked at the door to Kashuu's room. He slowly slid the door open and was about to peek inside but a hand caught his wrist and made him jump in surprise. He whipped around and saw Yasusada, who was already wide awake, shaking his head disapprovingly at his attempt.

"Let him sleep…" Yasusada murmured and slowly rose to his feet.

"You startled me. I am about to train… Interested in a spar?" Horikawa offered, sliding the door close as silently as he could.

"I will just have something for breakfast instead," Yasusada winced while massaging his stiff neck. "Uggh, I guess I'm spoiled already… I'm not used on sleeping like that anymore," Yasusada grunted, following Horikawa to the kitchen.

Horikawa chuckled at him. He bent down in front of the refrigerator and took enough eggs for both of them.

"It will be awhile before breakfast, so I guess I'll make some eggs for only the two of us for now."

"Sure…" Yasusada accepted his offer and sighed while he took a seat. He leaned down on the table, groaning when he recalled the incident from last night.

 _'Kiyo had been in love with Okita…? How come I never know that…?'_

As soon as Horikawa started to cook, the smell of the fried eggs made his stomach growl. Horikawa laughed and Yasusada choked at the sound his stomach made.

"May I know why you were sleeping outside the room?" Horikawa grinned while flipping the egg.

"… I kissed him"

Horikawa almost dropped his spatula in shock. "W-what?!" he exclaimed. His cheeks turned red at the guy's confession.

Yasusada sighed and rested his chin on his palm. "His lips are so soft too…" he mumbled absent-mindedly.

"Wait. Elaborate please?" Horikawa interrupted.

"He wouldn't stop crying… I just had to do something…" he sighed, massaging his temples.

The raven raised his eyebrow at him before turning his attention back to their eggs and switched the stove off. He retrieved two plates and prepared the eggs with some tomatoes and cucumbers while carrying on the conversation.

"Even if he cried you shouldn't…" he trailed off when he saw Yasusada's face turning slightly pink.

"He was just so beautiful that I couldn't help it."

The conversation turned more awkward the more they delved into the topic.

"Right..." Horikawa murmured, putting Yasusada's plate in front of him. He dragged a seat for himself and started picking on a piece of cucumber with his fork.

"Did you just agree with me?" Yasusada raised an eyebrow, not even bothering to hide his jealousy.

Horikawa choked in the middle of picking up a piece of cucumber on his plate. He coughed a few times before regaining his breath. He swallowed before setting his fork down. "I have… Kane-san, alright?"

The man in front of him pursed his lips, forgetting the fact that they were dating. "Just keep this matter to yourself." Yasusada sighed and picked up his fork too. Horikawa had no objection at all towards his request.

* * *

The sunlight illuminated through the window of his room. Kashuu stirred, groaning as he shifted from his side. He blinked a few times before he pushed away his blanket and sat up groggily. He rubbed his sleepy face, stretched and yawned.

"What a night…" he sighed and rose to his feet. He absent-mindedly took out some clothes from the wardrobe and walked outside to the onsen.

As soon as he entered the onsen, he discarded his clothes and examined his reflection in the mirror. There he saw a mark on his neck, right shoulder and collarbone. His eyes widened after realizing that those marks were hickeys. "That guy… I'll kill him today!" He cursed out aloud, turning away from the reflection of himself. Kashuu immediately rinsed himself while letting loose a string of curses. The recollection of him being pinned against the futon, the feeling of Yasusada's chapped lips and tongue was easily overpowering him. Kashuu felt his cheeks getting hotter by the second. The worst case was… he called that guy's name…!

 _"Ahh… Okita-san"_

Kashuu bit his lower lip, looking down in shame. Now Yasusada knew how he felt towards their late master. Not to mention that he really resembled Okita… Kashuu cupped his mouth remorsefully at the mental image. He punched the nearby tile, and subsequently yelped in pain.

"Shit!"

He stared at the scrape on his fist. They were going to have an expedition today and Kashuu was selected to lead the team. He had no choice even with this small injury, right?

 _'Even if I'm broken and repaired… I will never shine brightly like before… No matter how thick I apply my concealer, the wound is still there behind it… This pain… just won't go away…'_

Kashuu quickly rinsed his hand with cold water.

* * *

The sun was glaring down on Kashuu's troops by the time they returned from an expedition. He hadn't got a chance to meet Yasusada. He was lucky that his red scarf was always wrapped around his neck. It was enough to hide the mark that Yasusada had left on him. He adjusted his scarf and exhaled in relief as soon as Citadel's gate came into view. He was going to be able to get some rest after being under the scorching sun for a few hours. One of the reasons behind his hatred for summer was because the heat was unbearable. The tantous within the team started talking about fresh water and watermelon.

As soon as the gate opened, Kashuu walked in. He almost bumped into Yasusada. Both of them looked at each other awkwardly as soon as their gaze met. Yasusada shifted his legs nervously from side to side. The small tantous were staring at them questioningly while waiting impatiently to get inside the gate. Kashuu jerked on Yasusada's scarf and dragged him away from the team behind him.

"Hngh! Wait, Kiyomitsu-"

"Shut up and follow me!" He pulled him towards the bushes, looking right and left before setting the guy free. He glared at Yasusada who was frowning in confusion. Kashuu pulled the red scarf away from his own neck and angrily pointed to the mark.

"This is your doing! Your fault! It's still there!"

"I'm sorry…" The guy was blushing furiously now while apologizing with his eyes averted.

"Don't ever do that again…" Kashuu's feature turned sad. The wind was blowing gently as the silence stretched on between the both of them.

"Is it because of Okita…?"

"Don't take me wrong! I hate him…" Kashuu turned around to leave.

However, Yasusada caught his wrist before he could get away. His partner gasped at the pain shooting up his wrist. Yasusada noticed it and quickly tugged on his armband.

"Yasusada! Stop-"

"You are injured!"

Kashuu pulled his hand away and kept a distance from him. "I'm fine," he hissed at him before quickly walking away, escaping from his protesting partner.

Kashuu walked hastily back to his room and slammed the door close. He quickly discarded his outer clothes and took off his armband. Blood had started seeping through his white sleeved shirt. Kashuu breathed out, staring at the wound. Something in him told him to keep breaking; to return to nothing and never be refined again. Tears blurred his vision at the memory of Okita walking out of his sight. Being abandoned near the riverbank… it was as if waiting for him to be washed away any time. The brunette gazed at his wrist and chuckled. He took his sword and held the blade against his wrist.

 _I want to turn into nothing._

He carefully slit his wrist.

 _I don't want to live without being loved._

His hand trembled at the sight of blood dripping down his wrist by just a simple cut.

 _They will just abandon me again soon._

Kashuu whimpered, sobbing uncontrollably.

 _Return to nothing and forget about Okita…_

Yasusada barged in, gasping for breath. His face went pale at the sight before him.

"KIYO!" He ran up to him and pulled him into a tight embrace. Kashuu heard his voice just before he fell into the dark abyss.

 _ **TBC**_


	5. Give Me Time

**Chapter 5 : Give Me Time**

Yasusada was pacing back and forth in front of the refinery room. Kashuu had collapsed the moment he barged into the room. Never had he thought his partner would do something like that. The door opened and Yasusada sprang on his master.

"How is he? Is he… is he alright?" his eyes were almost pleading. His master patted his head, smiling softly.

"He is alright. I wonder why he did that. Do you know something about it, Yasusada?"

"He has been hurting a lot… He never told me exactly why… probably because I reminded him of Okita so he didn't want to talk to me…"

"I see… You are like his twin; you two are such good partners to each other. In cases like this, you should support each other."

Yasusada nodded, he peeked inside and saw Kashuu sleeping on the futon. "I'll stay by his side until he wakes up."

After getting his master's permission, Yasusada walked inside and closed the door behind him. Sitting on the futon besides him, he stared down at Kashuu's face. He brushed away the bangs which covered his eyes. His fingers lightly touched the bandage wrapped firmly around his left wrist.

"Why can't I make you smile? You used to laugh so much in front of Okita… Am I not good enough to replace him in your heart?" Yasusada wondered sorrowfully and leaned down to kiss his temple. His thumb brushed against his now smooth cheek.

"I'm no longer beautiful... it's no use to try to polish me…" Kashuu whispered, opening his eyes to frown at Yasusada. The guy was squeezing his hand tightly.

"Kiyomitsu, don't say that…" Yasusada shook his head and brought his hand up to his lips, giving it a butterfly kiss.

"I'm just saying the truth." Kashuu shrugged and sat up, glaring at him. "How long are you going to hold my hand? Let go."

Yasusada held on to his hand tighter. "No."

"Yasusada, stop being childish…" Kashuu groaned while trying to pull his hand away.

"I love you."

"No," Kashuu shook his head. His fingers unconsciously wrapping around Yasusada's grip.

"I'm serious." Yasusada stared right into Kashuu's eyes, so deep that Kashuu slightly moved backwards.

"No, you are just confused."

His partner looked at him aghast. "I'm not! Can't you take a look at your surroundings for once? There is someone who loves you and yet your attention is towards someone you can't even reach anymore."

"Shut up! You can't love me! I'm… I'm not worth it." His eyes glistened with tears.

Yasusada sucked on his breath at the sight. "Why do you think like that?" The guy reached for his face, stopping when Kashuu drew back. The brunette shook his head.

"You are just saying that. You will find that I'm no longer attractive the more you get closer to me. Just like that guy…"

"Please don't say that."

"Stop it! Stop pretending!" Kashuu jerked his hand away violently.

Yasusada grabbed him on his shoulders, forcefully hugging him. His partner struggled, trying to push him away.

"Why are you even here anyway? Why did you help me out? Why don't you let me disappear," he shouted angrily, quickly wiping away the fallen tears on his left cheek.

"Why can't you understand? Is it because I look so much like him?"

Kashuu covered his ears, violently shaking his head." Stop saying that already! You are just the same like everyone! You will throw me away! It's only a matter of time when this new master will abandon me too."

"If you don't believe me, I will prove it to you!" Yasusada pulled away. He picked up his sword and pulled the ribbon that kept his long hair tied up. As soon as his hair was down, he gathered it together again.

Kashuu stared at him in shock. "Wait, Yasusada-!" The image of Yasusada about to commit _seppuku_ vanished as soon as his partner cut off his hair with his sword.

"Now I no longer resemble him…" Yasusada murmured after putting his sword in front of his knees.

Kashuu opened his mouth before closing it again. He was extremely confused about the flow of their conversation. His hair was much shorter now, reaching only to his shoulders. He eyed the hair sprawled on the tatami messily. Kashuu frowned.

"Why did you do that…" The person in front of him looked rather childish with his shorter hair.

"I don't want you to look at me as if you saw Okita-san. I want you to look at me, Kiyo. Not him. I'm Yamato no kami Yasusada! Your partner and twin. Our swords are like a mirror to each other, there is no one else but you as my partner. We are one of Okita's favorites swords, we love him dearly. But my feelings from thousands years ago never change. To me you are everything, Kiyomitsu." Yasusada pulled him into his arms, embracing him tightly. "Please don't hurt yourself like that anymore. It was like I'm seeing my other soul slowly slipping away. We did not forge to be alone, we were meant to be together."

Kashuu's sobs made Yasusada caress his back. The time Yasusada kissed his temple, Kashuu softly pushed him away. He shook his head.

"Give me time…" Kashuu said at the searching look on Yasusada's face. He was glad his partner didn't press the subject further. A nod of reply made him sigh in relief. He couldn't possibly return his feelings just like that, right?

"Just don't hurt yourself anymore." Yasusada said, caressing Kashuu's bandaged wrist.

"Your hair…"

"Ahh… leave it. I will tidy the mess myself." He said, rubbing the back of his head, chuckling softly.

"Let me…" Kashuu raised his hand to touch the tip of his hair.

Yasusada blinked at Kashuu.

* * *

"There! Nicely done," Kashuu said after tying a white ribbon on Yasusada's hair. Yasusada looked at his reflection in the mirror. His hair was pulled in a shorter ponytail now.

"Do I still…"

"Resemble him? Yeah, but in a different way now," Kashuu smiled at him. He ran his fingers through his hair. "It's nicer like this though…" he murmured. Yasusada pulled him closer to bury his face in Kashuu's chest.

"Thank you, for giving my hair a proper trim and for tidying it up." His voice was muffled against Kashuu's chest. The guy blushed brightly and tried to push him off.

"Stop it, it tickles!" he protested, while looking away, embarrassed.

"Sorry…" He scratched the back of his head.

Kashuu stared at him.

Even though he said he needed time, his dreams were still full of Okita. That didn't subdue his suffering of being thrown away, replaying almost every night. This time though, he didn't push Yasusada away when the guy tried to comfort him.

Yasusada took his hand and wrapped his fingers around it. They stared at each other for a long moment before Kashuu tore his gaze away. He pulled his fingers away, feeling warm on his cheeks.

"Sorry." Kashuu whispered softly. He pulled the blanket higher, almost covering his eyes, shyly looked down to the futon.

"It's okay." Yasusada replied shortly, rubbing the blanket, caressing his partner. He pulled him closer into his arms, muttering sweet nothings. They stayed like that over night until dawn.

* * *

The sun intensely glared down to earth; enough to make Yasusada's body glisten by sweat. He was practicing, his torso showing and his lower half of his upper yukata was tide down below his waist, dangling as he moved about. The heat became unbearable. Kashuu had gone out to train the new tantous. Yasusada could already imagine all the moaning and grunting he usually did every time they went to battle.

Yasusada walked towards the porch, sitting down, staring off into space. A shadow loomed over him, so looked up to see Kanesada staring down at him with a playful smirk.

"Finished training?"

"Yea… it's very hot today, I can barely keep up. Is the air conditioning repaired yet?" He took the bamboo fan from Kanesada.

"Sadly, no… Master said he will fix it as soon as possible but… looks like the repairman was unable to come today."

"Darn it…" Yasusada sighed.

"We are… spoiled aren't we? In our era, there is no such thing as air conditioning. Only bamboo fans." Kanesada chuckled, taking one of the dango sticks from the plate Horikawa had prepared for them.

"You are right." Yasusada agreed for once.

Horikawa walked in, he brought a tray of cold lemonade water jug. He returned their happy face upon seeing the fresh infused water with a smile.

"Here, drink to gain some energy. This heat is unbearable." The young Wakizahi put the tray on the porch, sitting down beside Yasusada. Kanesada quickly picked the jug of water and poured himself a glass of lemonade.

"Be careful not to wet the tatami or Master will be mad again." Horikawa watched in concern with the way Kanesada handled the jug. Yasusada took the jug away from him as soon as Kanesada had filled up his glass.

"Don't worry too much, Kunihiro." Kanesada said and guzzled his lemonade. He let out a sigh of satisfaction, asking for another from Yasusada. Yasusada shook his head with a smile and filled his glass.

"Thank you, it's refreshing. Kashuu will be thrilled with this water." Yasusada put his glass down. He wore back his yukata properly and circled his scarf around his neck.

"Oh right, he went out today. I bet he will be complaining all the way with this scorching heat." Kanesada snickered.

"Talking about him… how is he? I heard what happened from Master." Kunihiro asked after putting his glass away. Yasusada rubbed his glass, looking down at the clear substance.

"His body will probably leave scars, just like humans do." Yasusada sighed. "I tried to convince him in every way… even cutting my hair in the process. I don't even know that resemblance to Okita bothered him so much. Even I can't forget the man who had raised us in the past. If only Kashuu knows what it was like to stay by Okita's side without unable to do anything before his death…" His face turned gloomy.

Kunihiro smiled nervously. "But your hair looks nicer like this."

Kanesada laughed. "Everyone was so shocked when they saw your hair yesterday. You caused riots this morning."

"Ah, I'm sorry about that." Yasusada chuckled, rubbing his cheek with his forefinger shyly.

The gate opened right after Yasusada finished talking. The tantous were mumbling with exhaustion. They followed Kashuu's lead inside the gate, some of them mumbling about the craving for sweet juice and watermelons. Kashuu patted their heads as he held open the gate for them to enter.

"Phew, the sun sure harsh today." Kashuu muttered, adjusting the scarf around his neck. He heard Ichigo's voice from afar. Happiness fell across the tantou's face when they saw their brother. Ichigo hug all of them as soon as they cling to him. Kashuu chuckled.

Horikawa called for them with plates full of watermelons. The kids happily ran to him, not wanting to miss a slice of watermelon.

"Good job, good job." Kanesada patted Kanesada lv.5 among the tantous. He was staring at the lemonade water from the side lines. Horikawa noticed, gave him his glass, nodding at the small Kane to take it.

"Thanks!" Small Kanesada immediately emptied the glass in less than a minute.

"Here, have some watermelon." Kanesada grinned at his small self. Horikawa rubbed his head when the kid took a bite of his watermelon.

Yasusada stared from the side line; he pouted and looked at Kashuu who was busy adjusting his scarf.

"Kiyo, do you want lemonade water?" Yasusada called him, showing the glass in his hold. Kashuu saw and walked to him hastily. He slumped down beside Yasusada and picked the watermelon.

"So hot, it's annoying. I'm sticky with sweat. Disgusting. I will take a bath." He stood up after finishing his watermelon. Their eyes met for a second and Yasusada blushed at the view of Kashuu's sweating and flushed face because of the heat.

"Yasusada!"

Yasusada jolted by the time Kashuu's face merely an inch before him.

"Y-Yes!"

"Are you going to give me the glass or are you going to stare without sharing anything?"

"Aah yes, sorry!" Yasusada pressed the glass to Kashuu's hand. His partner clicked his tongue before he drained the water. Kashuu gave the glass back to him and walked inside with a wave.

"Did something happen between the two of you? He was rather snappy…"

"Nothing…" Yasusada muttered, pretending to pick some watermelon, avoiding eye-contact.

"It's pretty amazing that he didn't even let his scarf loose in this kind of heat. Appearance is everything to him, huh?" Kanesada snorted and lay sprawled on the tatami.

"Kane-san, don't sleep here!" Horikawa protested.

"Then give me your lap to sleep on." He chuckled when he saw the guy's red face.

Yasusada sighed. "Not in front of the small tantou's, you two…"

It's best to leave them alone. In front of Yasusada, Ichigo tried to avert the tantou's attention back to him.

"I'm going to check Kashuu if he got some injuries…" Yasusada stood up and waved at them. His mind went back to the night right after Kashuu's asleep.

 _Yasusada stared at the sleeping Kashuu. He was relieved that somehow the guy managed to sleep soundly. If he could meet Okita later during their next march on the map, he will scold him for sure. Okita never explained the reason of his action. It was already too late by the time Yasusada realized that Kashuu had broken. Not even a single blacksmith able to refine Kashuu. He could understand that Okita had no other choice rather than keeping Kashuu without being any use. Only his reason for putting him beside the river bank is…_

 _Yasusada watched when Kashuu move to lay on his back. He saw Kashuu's neck where he left a mark in a few nights ago. It had disappeared along with his refinement process. He softly touched his neck._

'He is… asleep, right…'

 _Yasusada slowly leaned down to his collarbone kissed it softly. His let out a shaky breath as soon as he bites him softly._

 _A sudden blow on his head made him squeaked._

 _"_ _YASUSADA! What in the-" He cursed out when he found a mark on his collarbone._

 _"_ _Y-you are awake!"_

 _"_ _If you continue to attack me like this, I want you to change room!" Kashuu shouted, cupping his collarbone, blushing furiously._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, I won't do it again!"_

 _"_ _Like hell you won't! Didn't I tell you to wait?!" Kashuu grumbled. He grabbed his pillow and stood up._

 _"_ _Wait, where are you going?!" Yasusada went pale._

 _"_ _I will move to another room."_

 _"_ _No, wait, I'm sorry!" He wrapped his arms around his waist, stopping him from going anywhere._

 _"_ _Let go of me!" Kashuu shouted._

Yasusada cupped his mouth. "Damn my libido… It's your fault for being so sexy even when you sleep, Kiyo." He cursed under his breath.

 ** _TBC_**

/hit Yasusada on the head

Control yourself a little!


	6. Please Don't Break

**A/N:** Some part of the conversation are from the recollection of Tourabu wikia. You will know which one as soon as you went through it. ^^ I just to let it come with Anmitsu pairing because it's fit more when the plot in my fic. Also, there is a slight HijikataxOkita moments by the end of the chp! You can imagine your own version of Hijikata and Okita, I'm still in love with the Peace Maker chara version.

I'm listening to **Akane Sora ni Negau by Mao** while writing the Ikedaya Inn scene in this chapter. If you want to listen to the song while reading this, go ahead. Enjoy!

 _Thank you for skydancing dragon for helping me with my grammar._

 **Chapter 6 - Please don't break**

Yasusada walked around the flea market. They had a day off today. Kashuu had been so excited to go since yesterday night. He had been pacing around the room eagerly. Seeing behind him, Yasusada saw Kashuu pick another nail polish from the stand they are currently standing on.

"Kashuu, you already own that," Yasusada mumbled.

"Why do you complain about something you won't be using? I will buy this...I never had black... Oh look, there is glitter mixed in it." Kashuu drew the small bottle closer, examining the liquid. Yasusada stared at his already painted nails.

"Red suits you better," Yasusada said, taking away the nail polish from his hand.

"Hey!"

"Come on, you haven't moved from this spot for 20 minutes. We still have other stands to go around. This park is big." Yasusada pulled him away from the current booth they were standing around. They strolled past a few meal stands, stopping once in a while before Kashuu grabbed Yasusada's muffler, halting him from walking.

"Look! There's a muffler! It looks so expensive!" Kashuu pulled the red dotted muffler off from the hook. Yasusada winced when Kashuu wrapped it around his neck. After pulling his own red muffler off, Kashuu gave it for Yasusada to hold. He took the sunglasses from the top of the display and wore it. "How do I look?" He said, striking a pose.

Yasusada snickered at him.

Kashuu puckered his lips. "Are you laughing at me?!" Kashuu returned the muffler and sunglasses back to their place. "Give it back." The sulking male snatched back his red muffler from Yasusada and walked away.

"Kashuu, you are fine the way you are. No need to change."

Kashuu stopped on his track. "Why do you have to say that now... of all the times..." Kashuu frowned, walking faster with Yasusada tailing him.

"Oooi! Yasusada-san! Kashuu-san!" Horikawa shouted to them. They were standing beside the riverbank, eating some dango with Kanesada.

"Let's go to them..." Yasusada patted his shoulder. Kashuu shrugged his hand away, being the first to approach Horikawa.

"Want some dango?" Horikawa gave him a full plate of them. There were like 20 sticks of dangos in the plate Horikawa offered.

"Where did you guys get so much?" Yasusada asked in awe.

Kashuu took them and started munching. "Wow, it's sweet! Nice!" He started to dig in some more.

"Kanesada said he was hungry, so I bought 10 sticks. Apparently they had a bargain and give us double portion!" Horikawa laughed. "We wouldn't be able to eat these all by ourself, obviously. I'm glad you two are the ones nearby us."

"I see... Thanks for sharing," Yasusada said while eating.

"Have you two been going around? There are lots of discounts..." Kanesada chuckled.

"Yes, we were walking around. Kashuu was busy with the scarf earlier. We didn't buy anything yet, though. Did you guys buy anything?" Yasusada replied.

"I bought omamori." Horikawa showed them.

"Omamori? From of all the things?" Kashuu was flabbergasted.

"Well, it's important for battle. Kanesada also bought one. We'll ask Master to give the mantra so we won't be broken."

"Let's buy some too," Yasusada said. "We'll buy the same type," He added as he stood up.

"What? Are you kidding me?" Kashuu groaned. Yasusada had run off before he could even stand up.

Horikawa chuckled. "He is obviously worried about you, Kashuu. Maybe he will buy lots of it."

Kashuu rolled his eyes. He stared at the river before his eyes and put the dango stick aside. He pulled his legs up to his chest, hugging it, and sighed. "If I'm broken, just toss me on the riverbank. It's where I belong after all..." Kashuu mumbled.

Horikawa and Kanesada looked at each other.

"Kashuu, you can't possibly... want to be broken, right? I mean..." Horikawa stopped when Kashuu sighed.

"What if I want to? Yasusada might not know it, the pain that's been in my chest the whole time. The feeling of being tossed aside by the master you love the most. I know you guys have your own past you can't forget, but still... You will never know how it feels to be left alone, forced to stay to where you belong. I'm just a riverbank child after all..." Kashuu hid his face in his arms.

"Even so, you are still precious!" Kashuu rose his head, looking up to see the source of the voice. There he saw Yasusada glaring down at him. In his hands there were lots of omamori.

"Oh no, look at how many omamori he bought..." Kashuu groaned.

Kanesada laughed and Horikawa sweat dropped.

"Half of it is mine... Well, we can share with other swords as well..." Yasusada grinned from ear to ear.

* * *

That day was the most relaxing day before a few events started. They were still half way from defeating all of the yaris on the path to Ikedaya Inn and had been training for it. In the end, Nagasone was chosen to be the one who lead their team for the mission.

Kashuu stared at the blue and white Shinsengumi uniform. He recalled the time when they had raided together, wearing all the same uniforms. A wash of emotions went over his heart; this uniform was reminding him of the crucified battle. The bloodshed and the time that Okita had showing his illness. Kashuu gripped the uniform tighter.

"Kiyo..." Yasusada appeared from the doorway. Kashuu nodded.

"It's time."

Kashuu's eyes shone dimly under the moonlight. He put on the Shinsegumi uniform and wrapped the white headband around his forehead.

"Okitagumi is ready." Kashuu smiled at his partner. Yasusada nodded and smiled in return.

"How do you feel?"

"I... if things were to happen in there... Don't help me out..."

"You're still saying that?!" Yasusada took his wrist, gripping it tightly.

"If we meet Okita... I want to... tell him "Don't cough up blood at a time like this," or "Treat me with a little more care." Things like that..." Kashuu looked down to his feet.

Yasusada was stunned. "... So you are after all..."

"I loved him... before... I know I shouldn't..." Kashuu bit his lower lip. He finally admitted it in front of Yasusada. Clenching his eyes shut, he waited for Yasusada to raise his voice again. He opened his eyes when the man patted his head instead.

"I won't let anything happen to you..."

"Yasusada..."

"It's alright if you can't return my feelings. At least we have to come back alive after the battles. I won't let you disappear. I don't want to lose you, Kiyo..." Yasusada cupped Kashuu's face, leaning down to him.

"Hey-" His eyes widened when Yasusada pressed his lips against his own. Kashuu grabbed his arms, trying to pull back. His back hit the door and clenched his eyes tight. "Uumh..."

Yasusada tilted his head to kiss him deeper. He jolted, opening his eyes when Kashuu slowly kissed him back, not seeing that coming. Yasusada wrapped his hands tightly around his body, caressing his back as they kissed. After a few minutes, Yasusada pulled away slightly, staring right into Kashuu's eyes.

"Don't break... for me," Yasusada gasped out.

Kashuu looked down.

"I will try..." he mumbled to him. "But before that..." Kashuu pulled on Yasusada's ear. The guy winced, protesting at the punishment.

"What was that for?!"

"I did not recall giving you permission to kiss me!" He pouted, releasing his ear.

Yasusada cupped his ear, looking away from the accusing eyes. "But you kissed me back. What's that mean...? Don't tell me you are thinking about Okita again!" He muttered.

Kashuu abruptly pressed the back of his hand to his lips, blushing. They stared at each other for a moment until the bell rang, signaling the time they had to dispatch.

The team was lead to Ikedaya inn by Nagasone as the captain. This time they managed to break through the bridge. The raid team stood before Ikedaya Inn.

"Listen up, don't even try to save someone or even your late master. We are here to defeat those Yari creatures... Your master might not know who you are in this form, but try to avoid them as much as possible," Nagasone whispered lowly. They spread around, Kashuu and Yasusada immediately going upstairs.

As soon as they entered the inn, Nagasone shouted, "We're here to conduct business!" followed by the other swords. The enemy had them surrounded. Kashuu's eyes trailed at the other Shinsengumi who had gathered to fight. None of them paid attention to the glowing creatures. The Nagasone team started their counterattack, beating the enemy one by one.

The intense battle started and each of the enemies were defeated. The enemy doesn't seem to decrease anytime soon. Gasping, Kashuu whipped the blood running down his cheek. The Yaris were too much. He turned his head when someone charged in. Yasusada blocked the attack, slicing the enemy in half. Blood splattered on his cheek, Yasusada brushed it off, eyes glistening dangerously. Kashuu's back was pressed against Yasusada. A relieved expression ran across his face and he looked back to the front.

"Don't break..." Yasusada reminded him, attacking the enemy behind Kashuu.

"This... is the battlefield after all..." He chuckled nervously. Gripping the sword hilt tighter, he launched his attack on his enemy.

"That doesn't mean you can break without defending yourself. I won't allow it."

"Are you saying if it's an accident, I'm allowed to break?"

"Stop joking around!" He slashed his enemy in one swift motion, glaring daggers as the creatures came charging up to him.

Kashuu lunged forward, breaking through the seemingly infinite amount of enemies, slicing them on his way through. "ORA ORA ORA!" He exasperatedly shouted. His eyes scanned the room full of people. The person he was longing to see was inside the separated room, gasping for breath, attacking the enemy nonstop. Kashuu stepped closer to the room, gulping slightly.

'He won't know... He doesn't even know who I am in this form...' The brunette ran in, stepping in front of the man.

Yasusada's eyes widened.

"Wait, don't... KIYO!" Yasusada sliced the Yari in one swift move, chasing after his partner. Dodging a few times before killing anyone interfering his pathways.

"Let me at least defend him!" Kashuu shouted. Okita was staring at the person before him in confusion.

"Uhh... I'm alright, you can-" Okita abruptly raised his sword, stepping in front of Kashuu. He thrust his sword into the enemy's stomach, pulling it away just as fast as he had thrust in.

Kashuu opened his mouth, too stunned to move.

Okita faced him, glaring, "More than me, I think you should watch out for yourself!" Okita shouted.

Yasusada pulled Kashuu away. Kashuu shoved Yasusada away.

"No... don't take me away... I... Master..."

Yasusada quickly clasped Kashuu's mouth at the last word. "Kiyo, please... we can't change history!" Yasusada rasped out to him, desperately pulling on his lean body. Their master was gasping for breath. Yasusada saw the shiny sword the man was holding; it was near breaking. He gritted his teeth when Kashuu hit his stomach with his elbow as he tried to get to Okita.

"Okita-san!" Kashuu lurched forward, reaching to defend his late master. In a split second, a sword thrust into his side.

"KIYOMITSU!" Yasusada shouted. Okita whipped his head to the shout.

Kashuu coughed up blood. Ironically, Okita swung his sword, breaking his beautiful sword at the same time, killing the man who had just attacked his comrade.

Yasusada fell to his knees, frustration washing over his face. "No... this is not happening..." He crawled to him as Okita checked on his pulse.

"Ok..ita-san..." Kashuu whispered, raising his trembling hand to reach the man's cheek. Okita took his hand, gripping it tightly.

"You have done great..." His late master whispered, smiling down to Kashuu. He stared at Yasusada who seemed lost. "Don't just sit there doing nothing, bring him away...! We can still save him!" Okita reprimanded him.

"But..."

"I'm alright..." Okita smiled before he doubled over, cupping his mouth to cough several times. The blood spurted in his hands. Yasusada's eyes widened.

"Go!" Okita commanded him.

Yasusada quickly pulled Kashuu up. His partner tried to break free, reaching for his late master.

"No... no, please don't... let me be with him… He just vomited blood." Kashuu sobbed.

"You can't, Kiyo..." Yasusada started dragging him, raising his arm and putting it over his shoulder. "Kiyomitsu! Stop struggling! You are badly injured, we need to get out-" Yasusada held in his tears when Kashuu reached his trembling hand out for Okita.

"LET ME FIGHT ALONG WITH HIM!" Kashuu cried as Yasusada picked him up in his arms, ignoring his struggling.

Okita stared at the howling guy, looking down to his broken sword. He traced the shattered tip. "Kiyomitsu...?" He whispered. His head shot up to the crying Kashuu who was still reaching out to him, despite the fact that Yasusada had walked toward the entrance of the room.

Hijikata noticed two guys exit the room.

Yasusada bowed to him. "Okita-san is in the room. He just vomited blood." He disturbed Hijikata's attention from Kashuu.

"Souji!" Hijikata hollered from the entrance of the room. He stepped over the dead bodies, marching towards him.

The last thing Yasusada saw, Hijikata had wrapped his arms around Okita. He turned his attention back to the guy in his arms.

"Kiyo, please, stop struggling..." Yasusada whispered, hurrying his way down the stairs. Kashuu was now clinging to him, crying his eyes out.

Kanesada who fought near the entrance of the hall was grinning like a mad man, dodging an attack before killing his opponent. He turned his head when he heard someone called out to him. His face turned pale when he saw Yasusada approaching him with the bleeding Kashuu in his arms.

"We have to go back, quickly!" Yasusada yelled.

"Let Nagasone finish the last Yari. We-" As soon as he finished talking, Nagasone ended the battle. They gathered the items they needed and quickly ran out of the inn. Their teammates were gawking at the bawling Kashuu.

"He is alright, let's keep moving!" Kanesada said to Horikawa before the guy could begin speaking. Horikawa fumbled with the pocketwatch dangling around his neck. He set the timing and turned the time back to Citadel.

They blasted through time, Yasusada the first getting out from the time wave.

"MASTER!" He hollered, running into the house. The master turned to face him, surprise displayed clearly on his face before he saw Kashuu.

Without questioning it, he lead them towards the refinery.

* * *

"Hijikata... my sword..."

"Sword? You mean Kashuu Kiyomitsu? It's totally broken..." Hijikata said, making Okita leaned against his chest. He picked up the sword, checking it closely.

"You should try to repair it... Though it is probably unrepairable..."

Okita recalled the way that guy called out to his friend earlier. So, that Kiyomitsu is...

"He is... beautiful... Kashuu Kiyomitsu... He is too precious. I have to repair him..."

"You are right, this sword is beautiful. Let's get out of here first..." Hijikata propped him up, helping his lover stand up.

Okita sheathed his broken sword, staring at the snapped tip. Sadness hitting his chest and he blinked his tears away, recalling his crying face. "I'm sorry, Kashuu..." he whispered as he clutched his sword close to his heart.

 **TBC**


	7. You are Precious

**Chapter 7: You are Precious**

The weather was nice enough to take a night stroll around Citadel. Nevertheless, it was an eerie situation. The house was gloomy, contrasting to the weather outside, and no one felt proud or happy even after their raid was successful. Kashuu's injury had been pretty bad even without him having a nervous breakdown. Due to his wound, it would take a lot of time for Kashuu to recover. Their strength had reached to the point where they could not be easily repaired in just an hour or two.

The Shinsengumi sword team had gathered in the living room, and not one said a single word. Each of them were waiting for their master to come and tell them if Kashuu was alright. Yasusada was the most restless of all, since he wasn't allowed inside the refinery. He had been pacing in a circle, sighing here and there.

"Yasusada, sit," Kanesada finally commanded.

Yasusada stared at him. He let out yet another exasperated sigh, not obeying the man.

Horikawa stood up, patting his shoulder. "He will be alright, there is nothing Master cannot do. The reason Master tossed you outside was because he needs no distraction. You will be in the way during Kashuu's recovery." Horikawa grabbed onto his wrist, leading the man to his seat.

"What is taking him so long..." Yasusada bit his nails.

"All we have to do is wait, Yasusada," Nagasone spoke up, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Someone knocked on the door right then ― everyone looked up ― and it slid open, revealing Hotarumaru. Their faces instantly displayed a disappointed look.

Hotarumaru picked up the green tea tray from the floor and entered the room. "Umm, you guys should have something to eat," he said. Behind him was Aizen with two plates full of onigiri in each of his hands.

"Thank you." Horikawa smiled when they waved and left.

Nagasone picked up the onigiri and began filling his stomach. "Come on, eat up. It will be alright. You have to fill your energy while waiting for the good news." He directed his smile to Yasusada, who remained unmoving.

The door slid open, and this time it really was their master. Yasusada abruptly stood up.

"It's already dawn, you guys should-"

"How is Kashuu?" Yasusada interrupted him.

Their master shook his head. "It's a pretty bad injury. I'm glad he is still in one piece. It will take time. You should rest, Yasusada. You can see him tomorrow."

"No, please… Let me stay by his side…" Yasusada kneeled down in front of him, pleading. His master patted his head, smiling.

"It will be alright. We won't lose him. Now I want you to head to bed," he said.

The rest of the team did not say a word as they stood up, gathering the plates and tray. One by one they left the room, leaving Yasusada alone. The blue haired man walked towards the refinery, following his master.

"You are not allowed inside yet," the man warned him, and entered the refinery.

Yasusada touched the door and slid down, pressing his forehead against it. "Kiyo…" he whispered.

* * *

The next day Horikawa found Yasusada asleep in front of the refinery door. Shaking his head, the brunet brought Yasusada's breakfast and ordered him to eat. Yasusada didn't move from his spot until his master appeared. It was near afternoon when he was allowed to finally go inside to check on Kashuu.

"You can see him now. Though he is still not fully healed. Don't bother him too much."

The blue haired male didn't need to be told twice. Yasusada rushed into the refinery room. There lay Kashuu with numerous bandages wrapped around his waist. His eyes remained closed. Yasusada kneeled beside his futon, taking his hand into his, wrapping it tightly.

"How many times do I have to see you like this?" Yasusada murmured, kissing the digits. It jolted slightly when it came in contact with his lips.

"Are you awake?" Yasusada whispered when he saw Kashuu frowned.

His partner groaned softly, opening his eyes only to wince at the pain shooting through his waist. The bandage wrapped around his stomach was killing him.

"Hurts..." the brunet muttered.

"You shouldn't have done that..."

"It was meant to be," he whispered to him.

"Kiyomitsu... do you realize how hard Okita tried to repair you when you were broken?"

Kashuu's red eyes stared at Yasusada.

"He tried so hard to repair you. When he couldn't do it, he cried cradling you in his chest. I was with him when that happened. Seeing that so many blacksmiths couldn't repair you broke his heart even more. It broke mine too." Yasusada brushed Kashuu's quickly-forming tears away with his thumb.

"Stop with the story..." Kashuu scoffed, propping himself up before he winced in pain.

Yasusada helped him sit up, making him lean against him for support. "I want you to understand..."

"No matter how much you try, it won't work." Kashuu pushed him away. Yasusada didn't budge.

"Why can't you understand? He loves you more than anything, Kiyo."

"Stop pretending like you understand me!"

"He left you at the edge of the riverbank because you are beautiful!"

"That doesn't make sense! Stop lying!" Kashuu covered his ears.

Yasusada hissed in irritation. "Alright, I have no choice then." He took off his Shinsengumi cloak, putting it on Kashuu. He grabbed his hand and helped him up.

"Where do you want to-" Kashuu winced at his still slightly injured waist. "Wait, I can walk-" He protested when Yasusada started lifting him up, speaking firmly to him.

"Let me do it."

Yasusada gently brought him up in his arms. Kashuu stayed still.

With that matter over with, Yasusada stepped outside the refinery room, only to find that the rest of their Shinsengumi teammates were waiting outside. Instantly, the two were subjected to incredulous gawking.

Kanesada stepped forward, breaking the silence. "Where will you bring him?"

"The pond," Yasusada replied shortly.

Kanesada, Horikawa, and Nagasone looked at each other, confused.

* * *

As soon as they stepped outside the porch, they could see the orange colored sky. Kashuu gazed at the orange hue in the sky and closed his eyes in irritation. He hated the color. He had never been able to appreciate that kind of beautiful landscape. It reminded him of the day he was abandoned, unwanted and left broken beside the riverbank.

Yasusada walked over to the nearest fishpond after determining the direction where the sun was setting. He set Kashuu on the ground, helping him to stand on his own two feet.

"Hold onto me."

Kashuu nodded, leaning against his partner as he stared at the pond.

"Give me your sword." Yasusada reached out his hand. Kashuu gave him what he wanted. The blue hair male stuck the sword to the ground. The sun reflected off Kashuu's sword, making it shimmer beautifully. Kashuu stared at it in silence.

Yasusada looked at him and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer. He leaned his head against Kashuu's, hand caressing his back. He helped Kashuu kneel to the ground, allowing him to lean on his body for support.

"He left your sword at the riverbank so that the sun will reflect off your sword every time the sun rises and sets. It was near to your hometown, where you belong. Not because of your injured state but because you are so precious, even if no one can see how beautiful you are. In Okita's eyes, you are the most precious."

Kashuu was already sobbing when their eyes made contact.

Yasusada caressed his cheek with his fingers, brushing away the tears running down his cheek. "Kashuu Kiyomitsu will be shimmering beautifully all the time and will remain precious. Do you get it?" Yasusada pulled him into a tight embrace as his partner wept loudly. He kissed away his tears as Kashuu sobbed uncontrollably, his hand continuously rubbing his back in a soothing manner.

" _Kiyomitsu… you are precious and beautiful… I'm sorry…" Okita looked down, his expression hidden behind his bangs. He shed a tear that day before he left him alone beside the riverbank._

"Kiyomitsu… You are precious…" Yasusada whispered into his ear over and over again, kissing his cheekbone. Kashuu wrapped his arms around him, returning the embrace. Yasusada sighed and buried his face in the crook of his neck, smiling to himself as his partner slowly calmed down. "Don't forget about this… Don't hurt yourself anymore. I'll stay by your side and I will always remind you of how precious you are, Kiyo…" Yasusada pulled away and looked at his face. He rubbed the tears away from the corner of his eyes, smiling gently.

Kashuu nodded his head silently, brushing away his tears.

Yasusada cupped his cheeks, allowing their eyes to meet before leaning down to capture his lips. This time he kissed him slowly, lovingly treasuring him as he claimed him as his own.

Kashuu circled his arms around his neck, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. As they kissed again, he cracked his eyes open for a bit. In front of him, the sun was setting just behind Yasusada. Maybe just for once, Kashuu could appreciate the beautiful landscape. How beautiful Yasusada was. How beautiful he was as his sword shimmered under the sun. Kashuu smiled into the kiss, feeling Yasusada pulling away briefly before kissing him again and repeating the action as if afraid that he might be broken by the long kisses.

* * *

"Are you alright? Do you want me to put you down?" Yasusada asked while cradling Kashuu in his arms. He slowly walked back to the house, smiling when Kashuu nuzzled his head on his chest.

"I'm alright, slowly getting better. I'm sure tomorrow I will be healthy again," Kashuu whispered back to him.

Yasusada sat on the porch. Kashuu wiggled a little in Yasusada's lap, trying his best to ignore the aching on his waist.

"Are you comfortable?"

"Yasusada, I'm alright. This kind of pain is nothing. Rather, I should be getting used to it. Stop treating me like glass."

"Kiyo, you are precious, not only to Okita but for me as well. Of course I will treat you as such," Yasusada whispered. A red hue tinted his partner's cheeks right after he heard him. Yasusada grinned; he loved the color adorning Kashuu's cheek. Yasusada graced his lips against the warm cheek, smiling when the color reddened.

"Stop repeating that…" Kashuu griped.

"So precious that I don't ever want to lose you, I want to stay by your side forever." Yasusada kissed his other cheek. He ran his thumb over his cheekbone, staring deep into his eyes. Blue met red, penetrating deep within his soul. Yasusada leaned closer, pressing his lips against those plumped lips of Kashuu's, enjoying the smooth warm contact upon his own. They kissed some more before Kashuu pushed him away for breath.

"Sorry…" Yasusada whispered, pressing his forehead against Kashuu's. He pecked Kashuu's forehead, hand nuzzling his hair. "I'm not sure if you really want me to continue doing this… I mean…" Yasusada avoided looking at his partner.

"I'm looking at you…" Kashuu mumbled.

"Come again?" Yasusada shifted his eyes back to him.

"I'm looking at you, I'm kissing you. It's you who I kissed in front of the door that time. Remember? Before we went for the raid you asked me if I'm thinking about Okita again…"

Yasusada's heart thumping loudly against his chest. "You mean, you are saying that..." he trailed off, not daring to continue. Afraid if what he was hoping for might be wrong.

"You already own my heart, what else do you want me to explain?"

Yasusada's eyes widened before circling his arms around him, squeezing him tightly. "Kiyomitsu…" The redness reached the tip of his ears. Kashuu gasped for breath.

"Yasusada, hurts-" He protested when Yasusada hugged him a little too roughly.

"Ah sorry..." He pulled away, letting his boyfriend breathe. He chuckled and rubbed the back of his head at Kashuu's scowling. The brunet continued scowling at him before he too began chuckling at him.

That night they shared many kisses. Yasusada did not dare to touch his body for he feared he might be broken under his touch. He did mark him on his shoulder though, feeling satisfied that Kashuu was his. He hugged him all night long, smiling when he felt the warmth of Kashuu's body under his embrace. He enjoyed having his boyfriend in his embrace as they fall asleep throughout the night.

* * *

Kashuu stirred, opening his eyes upon feeling the caresses he received from Yasusada. They stared at each other for a long time, neither saying a word. Yasusada played with Kashuu's hair strands, smiling when Kashuu cupped his cheek. His boyfriend nuzzled against his palm, enjoying the touch.

"How do you feel today? Better?"

"Much better. I'm fully healed now," Kashuu replied as he placed his own hand over Yasusada's, which was caressing his cheek.

"I'm glad. Nothing make me more happy than seeing you healthy, Kiyo." Yasusada leaned forward, kissing his forehead. "I love you." Yasusada circled his arms around his body, resting his face against the crook of Kashuu's neck.

"I love you too," Kashuu whispered.

Yasusada breathed on his scent, moaning softly that Kashuu pushed him away.

"Wait, don't…" Kashuu said, avoiding eye contact. His cheeks were aflame. He touched his reddened ear, fidgeting slightly at the way Yasusada moaned previously near his ear.

"Sorry," his boyfriend chuckled. He drew closer to his lips before Kashuu freaked out, pushing him away rather harshly.

"Morning breath!"

"What?! Oh, come on..." Yasusada groaned.

"I'm not letting you do that. Brush your teeth first!" Kashuu pressed his forefinger to Yasusada's lips. Yasusada's eyebrow twitched. His boyfriend licked his forefinger, making him jolted in surprised.

"Wha-"

"Serve you right…" Yasusada grinned teasingly. Kashuu pummeled him with his pillow, earning a sharp cry.

"Hey, alright, I'm sorry!" His boyfriend pulled out his own pillow, shielding himself from the attack as he laughed at how red Kashuu's face became.

Outside the room, Kanesada grinned. "They are being so lovey dovey…" He and Horikawa were discreetly listening from behind the door.

"Leave them alone, Kane-san," Horikawa whispered, pulling his boyfriend away.

"Wait, this will be funny." Kanesada said, grinning widely. The tall man purposely opened the door, barging in without knocking. "Breakfast is ready– Hooo…" Kanesada announced loudly before trailing off at the sight before him.

"Kane-san!" Horikawa shouted.

"I guess you two are a couple now?" Kanesada smirked in understanding, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

Yasusada and Kashuu gaped at Kanesada. Kashuu threw the pillow straight at his face. "Can't you knock?!" Kashuu shouted.

Yasusada sweat dropped when his boyfriend started chasing after Kanesada angrily.

Horikawa sighed. "I'm sorry…" he apologized to Yasusada, who chuckled in reply.

"No problem… we were just fighting anyway…"

"I'm glad everything is alright now."

"Yeah…" Yasusada smiled while watching Kashuu swinging his refined sword at Kanesada, who was dodging his attacks.

' _He is so precious, right, Okita-san?'_

 **The End**


End file.
